Traditional Lifestyle Admirer Gifts

Old Country Buffet.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

REPENT! Get back to nature

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

Folk Wedding

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Shall I be mother?

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

Maypole

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

Shavuot - Like!

Time for Tea

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

"Now do you believe me?"

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Queen reigning.

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

'Well,what do you think of the new gown and wig?'

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

"That's Fred. He was raised by bats..."

First Marriage.

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

'I want a traditional church wedding but Sam prefers something trendy. Can we compromise and do it bunji-jumping from the steeple?'