Traditional Couple Appreciator Gifts

"They have this arrangement. He earns the money and she takes care of the house."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

Joined at the hipster.

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'I married him because he made my feet tingle when we played footsie. Turns out it was neuopothy.'

Scot holding a heart.

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

'We were made for each other.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Good morning Miss...'

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

'Forget it, Sister, Jessica -- Notre Dame doesn't need cheerleaders!'

'When I married him, I didn't expect the full frontal crudity!'

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

Elderly couple

Gay couple living together.

The Ancient Tea Ceremony of Astoria

How To Be Your Own Best Friend

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

Nadal's bottles

We never go out anymore.

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

Indian Face Painting

'The opinions expressed by Mrs Latimore are her own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Mr Latimore.'

Bavaria

'A babe magnet? Shouldn't that be a fridge magnet?!'

"Since when do you obey traffic signs, Billy?!"

"According to tradition, we now welcome the 'Ushpizin', the holy guest, Avraham into our Succah."

"There is a man at the door who needs seventeen dollars to buy some sweet grass to burn as a spiritual cleansing agent during his prayer ceremonies."

Chimney Sweep

"I don't know - I just like pompoms!"