Tradition Tweakers Pillows

"I'm getting married and I need something borrowed."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Origins of a family tradition.

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Hanukkah tree

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

"Get that new hat you wanted, Martha! Punxsutawney Phil says we have six more weeks!"

"When you told me that your father owned several banks, you failed to mention that they're all piggy banks."

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'Call me soft, but I miss the old traditions.'

"Baldo, Hispanic Heritage Month is about old traditions...and starting new ones."

"Boxing Day is cancelled this year. We're going to stop cold turkey."

"Blech! Skim milk!"

"This year I thought it would be appropriate to light a womenoran!"

'I've heard this matador has a very unique style.' (matador has boxing gloves on).