Tradition Tweakers Pillows

"I'm getting married and I need something borrowed."

"I think I see some eggs in here."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Origins of a family tradition.

Hanukkah tree

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

"When you told me that your father owned several banks, you failed to mention that they're all piggy banks."

"Get that new hat you wanted, Martha! Punxsutawney Phil says we have six more weeks!"

Police Dept. Public Information Office. This press release should say "We have not yet gathered evidence," not "We're clueless"!

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'Call me soft, but I miss the old traditions.'

"Blech! Skim milk!"

"Baldo, Hispanic Heritage Month is about old traditions...and starting new ones."

"This year I thought it would be appropriate to light a womenoran!"

'I've heard this matador has a very unique style.' (matador has boxing gloves on).