Cycle Tweakers Pillows

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"Anything else...apart from the wheel?"

"Yes, dear, I was cool under pressure in the boardroom. It's 58 degrees in there!"

"Don't be ridiculous. If the wheels were round, you'd never be able to stop."

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

Happy Office

'Well, Mrs.Gurkemiller...Either your female cycle has turned to European summer time, or you're pregnant.'

"You sure you don't wanna turn the AC down just a tad?"

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

Police Dept. Public Information Office. This press release should say "We have not yet gathered evidence," not "We're clueless"!

'My bike was making a strange noise, so I took it apart to fix it. I should've thought ahead, because I have no idea how to put it back together.'

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'Why am I wearing a helmet?...Why aren't you wearing one?!'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

"Boxing Day is cancelled this year. We're going to stop cold turkey."

Exercise Gym. Only the bike is stationary -- you have to actually move.

"I think I see some eggs in here."

Exercise for fat people.

"March 177th? Already?!"

Grim reaper has a broken tricycle.

'This new vestments freedom does seem appropriate for the comical twaddle he sometimes spouts.'

Social comment on the time-honoured tradition of attaching a Just Married sign to the newlyweds car

'Pretty clever how the stepsisters got out of marrying the prince.'