Cv Tweaker Pillows

"Anything else...apart from the wheel?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"Yes, dear, I was cool under pressure in the boardroom. It's 58 degrees in there!"

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome aboard, Barnes.'

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

"You sure you don't wanna turn the AC down just a tad?"

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

'We still have a few other people we'd like to interview before deciding on who will fill the position, Mr. Prescott.'

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

'If I'd known you were looking for someone without experience, I wouldn't have exaggerated my abilities.'

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

'About this cv of yours...' - 'You can skip over the part about the potty training.'

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."

"When you told me that your father owned several banks, you failed to mention that they're all piggy banks."

Police Dept. Public Information Office. This press release should say "We have not yet gathered evidence," not "We're clueless"!

"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

"I see that your curriculum vitae is very good..."

Cuba materials for hurricane recovery

"Boxing Day is cancelled this year. We're going to stop cold turkey."

"I think I see some eggs in here."

'Me? Actually I'm a writer. . . Well, er, at the moment it's mainly job applications.'

'This new vestments freedom does seem appropriate for the comical twaddle he sometimes spouts.'