Tradition Tinkerer Pillows

'I hope this doesn't turn into a tradition.'

"We need a different new year's tradition."

"Blech! Skim milk!"

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Early cyborg.

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Gadget geek.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Bicycle sat nav.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'