Trading Titan Pillows

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

"...When I was your age, I walked 10 blocks to the stock exchange to place a trade."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Sisyphus during Covid

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

Table tennis.

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

Football.

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Addiction to mobile.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'I'm trying to get in shape enough so I can wear Spandex in public.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

'It's called bipedalism, Ned, and it's the wave of the future. You better get with it or get left behind.'

Call Center.

Congratulations for male runner

Stop the big guy!

'Welcome to the rat race.'

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

Hazard of texting

Workmen Lifting.

They're inflatable trade barriers!

I love my mobile phone.

'Spinout!'

"Warning! Consumption of alcohol whilst using your phone increases the size of the send button by 90%."

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

'First I'll do some covers, then I'll play some derivative, cliche-ridden original material.'

'Hi! So you're the supply teacher? You're the lucky guy we'll be driving up the wall until the real teacher gets back from mat leave!'