Tractor Humorist Gifts

"Don't get me wrong I think these new GPS systems will revolutionise ploughing."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'Where's my horse?'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

A Semicolon.

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

The New Yorker Book of Cartoons that No One Can Understand

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Airbus

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Lucky car.

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

No Hand Signals

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

Scary Scarecrow

Bovine Fast Food

"Usually, I give a free estimate, but for lawyers, I charge a consultation fee."

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth