Toy Soldier Gifts

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"Do your folks know you're into guns?"

Rocking horse

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Second lifeReal life.

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

Model Nato Afghanistan Army

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

"Ramming Speed!"

"It's the battering classes"

A Real Pinata Surprise

"O.K., Saddam, we want a full and accurate accounting of what you've got - or else?"

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Army Man Playset 2020

'I need to get away and unwind!'

'Please tell me it shoots laser beams out of its eyes.'

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff.'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

I got some cauliflower for his brain, master.

Someone's always fooling around with my toys phobia.

Santa's Workshop. Ernie runs that sanding machind here. He says that makes him a "smooth operator."

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."