Toy Soldiers Gifts

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Second lifeReal life.

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

Model Nato Afghanistan Army

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

"Ramming Speed!"

"It's the battering classes"

'I need to get away and unwind!'

A Real Pinata Surprise

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"O.K., Saddam, we want a full and accurate accounting of what you've got - or else?"

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Army Man Playset 2020

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

'As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff.'

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

I got some cauliflower for his brain, master.

"Santa's favorites always end up in the gift card workshop."

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

Santa's Workshop. Ernie runs that sanding machind here. He says that makes him a "smooth operator."

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'