Toy Safety Crusader Gifts

"In other news, the 'nifty wifty symphony' toy is being recalled, because the music it plays can cause nearby adults to smash it into little bits, thus posing a choking hazard."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

"Very fine people on both sides."

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Boozing and Cruising

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"