Toy Safety Crusader Pillows

"In other news, the 'nifty wifty symphony' toy is being recalled, because the music it plays can cause nearby adults to smash it into little bits, thus posing a choking hazard."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

"Very fine people on both sides."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Boozing and Cruising

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

Is this what they call inherent safety?

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'