Tourist Extraordinaire T-Shirts

Ducks Migration Patterns

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Look, a bug!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Heading off with a packed bag

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

The Airport.

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

Concert pianist with a clockwork piano.

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"Fred, just how remote is this remote fishing spot of yours?"

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Moon Souvenirs

No You Do Not Have A Beer Belly: You've just developed a liquid grain storage facility.'

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

Men and Women's changing rooms

'Never thought I'd enjoy a cricket match so much.'

Confusing directions.

Caravan Club shop is selling Hold-Ups.

Tourist Directions

Vacation on the Moon.

Arctic Caravan Breaks

Woman painting a man drowning.

'We buried Dad in the sand, Mom!'