Tourist Attraction Fan Gifts

'Parliament's in Christmas recess, but the circus's open.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Leaning Tower of Pisa

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

Wildlife in Herb's Apartment

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

On holiday...

"Last weekend I went to Orlando for the DisneyWorld re-opening."

'My doctor wants me to cut back on road salt.'

'If anybody's gotta go, this is the time to speak up.'

"Honey, you'll never guess what movie was partially filmed here. . ."

"No, sir, this isn't Positano. It's the Jersey Shore."

Grim Reaper Checkout

Millennium dome - customers wanted.

Sightseeing Bus

Foreigners in Paris - Foreigners staring at one another believing the other to be Parisian

"It was contributed by the French contingent."

'I'll see you guys when you get there.'

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

"It's closing time and four people are unaccounted for. Start looking."

Crossing the Road

At the Sloth Amusement Park

Batman getting the subway

Q-Tip Company across from the Earwax Museum.

Zoo gate and Ooz door.

'That reminds me. . . how's your mom?'

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

'My parents went to the crocodile petting zoo and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

Welcome to Nantucket - Limerick Capital of The World

Monster in Bath

Shakespeare lost in the subway. E. F. Tube "E" or not tube "E"? Underground. London Times.

Whale watching