Touring Gifts

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

Whale Watch Tours.

"It's an audio guide, sweetheart, not a remote."

'I think we have some stowaways.'

Traffic cone tells bollard: 'It's a tough life ... always on the road.'

Man biking with an enormous amount of things on his back.

"Now how am I supposed to squeeze all my stuff in the little space you've left me?"

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Derek Trucks Susan Tedeschi

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Multi-language tour bus.

"This place, like the last one, has one big window that's also a door."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'And here you see the heart of this nation's capital. If you roll down your windows, you can smell the BS.'

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

"We're off, off to sunny spain."

'Well, well, well.'

'A cruise by air, sir, is called a 'tour'.'

"...Cherie - have we been to..."

"Sorry guys, the labels decided it's time to give up touring."

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Excess Baggage: In the future, some of these kids will pay good money to do the same thing, only they'll call it a 'Luxury Motor Coach Tour'.

"The contractor that built this house used to be a shoemaker."

Fred's Coaches: Mystery Tour

'We're on the tour. Isn't this one of the historic homes?'

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

For cryin' out loud What are the chances that all six tires blow at once,

'This is the last goodwill tour I do!'

Bradley Wiggins

Good Luck on your Gap Yah!

'I told you we should have gotten a seat on top.'

'To be honest, Fred, the tour was so fast that I won't know exactly where we went until the credit card bill arrives.'