Traveling Gifts

The Crash-test Dummy Family on Holidays

Winner of the Worst Slogan Contest.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

"It's not enough that I fly first class...my friends must also fly coach."

'We may well be looking at the straw that broke the camel's back.'

"Anything to declare, aside from personal bankruptcy?"

"No, you're not in a box. You're in an exit row. And I need you to acknowledge that verbally."

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

"Good morning passengers awaiting Flight 3335 to Lisbon. We just want to remind you that if the planes leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it..."

'Oh, so when I asked you if I should make a left and you said 'right', you meant as in correct... yeah, I totally misunderstood that.'

'Ocean view, or would you prefer to watch them fight over the will?'

Narcissist Cards

"O.K., I admit it, we're lost, but the important thing is to remain focussed on whose fault it is."

"I need travel insurance...starting yesterday!"

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

'Shout louder Dear...he's a foreigner...'

"We will always have Paris."

"We should have read the fine print more carefully before buying these cheap airfares."

GPS Recalculating.

Food - Gas - Lawyers - Next Exit.

"O.K., Mom, I'm off the plane. I'll call you when I check into the hotel, and when I check out of the hotel, when I get on the plane home, and when I get off the plane home, and I'll call you when I'm in the driveway – glad you're not worrying."

VD clinic: 'Not everything you did in Vegas stayed in Vegas.'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

Renewable Energy

'Have you recently eaten anything containing lactose, gluten or peanuts?'

'Wow! What graphics!'

'But when I said I'd follow you wherever your career took you, I didn't know what a volcanologist was.'

"The message here is 'Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!'"

'Computer Error'

Road Sign: You are now lost. I told you so next 30 miles.

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

Opportunities arising from Global warming

"I'm going to get my old dog, get an old pickup, a double-barrelled shotgun, get my old pink cotton print dress, and get back on Route 66!"