Tour Groupie T-Shirts

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Theatre Crowd

Dynamite little combo

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Justice 4 Ron

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Robert Schumann

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

Gondola safety life jacket demonstration.

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

"You're dragging the beat."

Mt. Moriah Church Senior Citizens

"I'd like a table near the band please."

"I have two children by a previous tour."

Team Bass

"Actually I'm a 'Roadie' for Dalton, Edwards, Bell, Cosgrove and Stoddard."

"I'm dating a professional goalkeeper..."

"So how does that eightfold path get us back on the Garden State?"

Mob Misfortune Cookies 'There's a gun pointed at your right now' 'You will take one for the team soon.' 'Leave the gun, take the eggroll.'