Tour De Force Gifts

Bradley Wiggins

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Man biking with an enormous amount of things on his back.

'I think we have some stowaways.'

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

Chris Froome

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Barack Skywalker

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

Whale Watch Tours.

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

Bernard Hinault

La Tour 2007.

'This is the last goodwill tour I do!'

Caution - Low gravity zone.

Tour de France champ Gregory LeMond.

Tour de France champ Hendrik 'Joop' Zoetemelk

Tour de France champ Octave Lapize

Tour de Pothole.

Winery tours.