Tough Times Crew Gifts

'Thanks for being there.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Cut!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Local News in Heaven

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Hollywood producer.

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

True Story Movie

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Who wants to go first?"

Reality TV

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

Born to rock.

Happy New Year

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

'It means, like, stop filming...'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

'I'm sorry, I can't take part in your survey, I'm not your typical man in the street.'

'Sorry, it's packed with t.v crews doing links.' ( LONDON EYE )

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."

Future COVID-19 Airline Meal Serivce

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'