Tough Love Storyteller Gifts

"Now, about your room." "Aw, mom." "Don't 'aw mom' me. A clean and orderly room promotes discipline." "But ..." "But nothing. Believe me, you'll thank me later. And another thing ..."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

"I'll bet there's a story there."

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

Tunnel of love, then disillusionment, then mundane humdrum coexistence.

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Alright, let's do this.'

"It's not what you think."

'I find the best way to get them to grow up is to buy them a 1-way ticket to Europe, and let them work their way back.'

"This ride is for parents and their kids."

Spirit of love

"Mother believed in tough love. She was always there for me when I needed a cold shoulder to cry on."

"It's been a tough season, and you tried your hardest, son. But you're being traded."

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

"You haven’t earned this."

"This isn't about another woman, Melissa. It's about magic beans.''

Emotional sabotage animals.

News Celeb Divorce: Long-suffering wife tells us of abusive husband, In tomorrow's news - dignified husband tells us of vile grabbing wife.

Woman in bed , with photos of her previous boyfriends above her head. (New boyfriend about to get in bed.)

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

"These feet are fine. You have at least a couple of route marches left in them."

"Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday! Let's light some candles, take a bubble bath, and talk about the future." "Things a woman will never hear in her lifetime - #14"

A Showbiz Love Story

"I know you think I'm tough on you now, son. But you'il be much better prepared for life when I disinherit you."

"Before you answer my proposal my Dear, let me just show you the balance of my off shore account..."

"I think boot camp would be much cheaper than a gym membership."

Man with Sex Reviews.

Star Light, Star Bright

'Son, I want you to be successful and able to survive in this tough world. That's why I'm feeding you with raw meat.'

Someday you'll thank me for not carrying you upstream.

"Mind if I journal?"

"I've come to the conclusion that there isn't anything you can say that will cheer me up or make it better!"

Emigrant Sisyphus