Touchscreen Skeptic Pillows

Touch screen technology for improved retail experience

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

I.T. Fear

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Privacy

Modern Life Blues

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

Domestic Spying Drones

"Tarzan no want computer."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

Diner is served