Touchdown Tracker Pillows

Oakland Raiders, Al Davis.

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Great Business Ideas - Musk Twitter X

Football.

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

NHS targets.

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

'Weird ... the footprints just seem to end right here.'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"You're back! You're really back...!"

"I met all my projections. Thank goodness I set the bar low."

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

Friendly fire!

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

Football

'Dinosaur footprints!'

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'