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"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

'Yes, all at once!'

Nerd tryouts.

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Moses as a child.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"First, do no ham."

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

'I would describe it as a splitting headache.'

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

Safer Torah

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

Torah-nosaurus Rex

Torah reading on the subway.

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'I thought the pop-ups would give it that extra punch. Whataya think?'

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

'Why can't you rebel like a normal teenager?'

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

'I liberate them from Egypt, give them manna, daily bread, milk AND honey, and the can't even keep ten lousy commandments!'

'Lot was told to take his wife and daughter and flee from Sodom.'

'I'll let your people go, but NO dual citizenship!'

King Solomon

"Well, you weren't my first choice either!"