Torah Geek Pillows

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

'Yes, all at once!'

Nerd tryouts.

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Moses as a child.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"First, do no ham."

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

Safer Torah

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

Torah-nosaurus Rex

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

Torah reading on the subway.

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

'Why can't you rebel like a normal teenager?'

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

'I'll let your people go, but NO dual citizenship!'

'I liberate them from Egypt, give them manna, daily bread, milk AND honey, and the can't even keep ten lousy commandments!'

'Lot was told to take his wife and daughter and flee from Sodom.'

King Solomon

"Well, you weren't my first choice either!"

"A pillar of salt? Why, you poor, poor man."