Torah Buff T-Shirts

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'Yes, all at once!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

Moses as a child.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"Enough already! You’re depressing me!"

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"First, do no ham."

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'Your iceberg salad, Captain!'

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'Hate is a pretty strong word. Are you sure you're not just lactose intolerant of your mother?'

"If you guys didn't crack me up so much I'd have you committed."

"More than one person has claimed I've driven them to drink."

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

"Hey, it's all right - we're all afraid of vacuum cleaners."