Toothbrush Dodger Gifts

'Instead of brushing my teeth can't I just chew on one of his dog biscuits?'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

Nun Binning the Devil

Private Viewing

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

'Dad, I decided not to get a tattoo in the end. Like you, I got a piercing, instead.'

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

The Demon's Disguise

'I told him you were an ice cream vendor. You take it from here.'

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

Leaking Art

"You can't leave holes in an agreement, I could run a coach and horses through this....So let's be crystal clear, if you don't clean your toothy pegs, there will be a 15% reduction in story time."

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

"If this meeting becomes too heated, we'll create a distraction...like running out the door."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

Bowling.

'We're out of cereal!'

National Endowment for the Artless.

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"It's escapism-as-art."

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"

'Seems to me any thing we do is going to be wrong.'

"The dental procedure will cost a couple of thousand. But keep in mind we do include a free toothbrush."