Tooth Hoarder Gifts

"I've saved every tooth I ever lost...and someday I'm gonna have them all put back in!"

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

Festive squad

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"Now she could watch the special on root canal treatment."

'Houston, we have a problem. We're going to need a bigger toothbrush.'

"It's the dog."

James Russell Lowell

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

'Looks like they decided not to g south this winter.'

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

"My, what big teeth you have, Grandmother."

Their honeymoon was a disaster. She spent all night in the bathroom, flossing.

"I need a vet."

' How many times a year do you visit the dentist?' 'Twice, one for each tooth.'

'Going private also means I get ten per cent off Dental Implants and Replacement Crowns!'

Bicuspid: A cuspid that can go either way.

'Get her to sign a pre-nup: You don't want to give her half your treasure if it ends up in a divorce...'

This isn't the magic top hat, either – I told you we were lost.

Dentist.

Tooth

Dentist.

"By the time you take my picture and email it to Grandma, all the good candy will be gone!"

'I think I'll get out of the crazy stock market and invest in something secure, something like bee keeping.'

When the Tooth Fairy takes her obsession with teeth a little too far.

Antiques: Priceless artifacts, now reduced to pricey.