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Hammer User Manual

Jim attempting (and failing at) DIY.

'I've checked the commandments, one is missing.'

'Tony's obsession with DIY had started to go to his head'

'Well, it wasn't working when I got it home.'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Sport Utility Boot.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

A DIY disaster.

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

The Hammer

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'