Tomato Sauce Enthusiast Pillows

'One day, my son, my entire collection of tomato sauce sachets will be yours'

'Now, that's just my luck! I show up at this restaurant for the first time wearing a red shirt and you run out of tomato sauce!'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Flying sauces.

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Italia tours

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Doctor's Office. He put me on a pasta diet -- He says I've been off my noodle long enough.

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

Old Phones Lasagne

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

"Linguini for two?"

Dreaming Of Spring

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

'Must be the chef's signature dish.'

Source of Information

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

I think we may have genetically overmodified the tomatoes.

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

Mozart eating noodles.

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

Impasta syndrome

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'