Tolerance Guru Pillows

'The level of my tolerance is only surpassed by the stupidity of people who don't share my opinion.'

Prejudice/Empathy

"It's up to you to keep the dream alive..."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

Teach Love

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

"It concerns me when you say he doesn't come to you when called."

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

Noise machines for dogs.

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

'Good news: First-quarter profits should be strong and second-quarter prison sentences should be light.'

'I thanked my teacher for teaching me so well, and she fainted.'

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

"I'm sorry, he's just left the stage. May I take a message?"

"Any idea how much longer you'll be?"

Tolerant Americans?

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

'Your time is up!'

Actually, it's kind of a relief to discover I wasn't a thin guy trapped in a heavy guy's body.

Color is not a crime

"Hat crimes"

'Tip? Sure. Don't be so presumptuous.'

'Hey, I'm no longer an ugly duckling! Now I'm an ugly duck!'

"Your former boss says you lack empathy - I'm putting you in HR."

Ballet keeps you supple...

Observe - Do not Judge - Embrace

Teaching Tolerance.

Holding a grudge.

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

'Harry, you're so relaxed, happy, non-confrontational...have you gone bi-partisan on me?'

I hate writing stupid papers. Me too. I've got to do one for our "Tolerance Week." I have to find the inner worth of a controversial belief. Easy. Write about the guys who deeply believe we must smash teacher unions. Good one. If I want to flunk! We'll see how much tolerance is tolerated.

"Jack and I have learned to accept each other's idiosyncrasies, like my passion for cashew brittle, and his going out every night and not coming home until dawn."

"Did you hear the one about the Christian, the atheist and the Buddhist?"

Different view on tolerance