Tolerance Guru Gifts

Prejudice/Empathy

"It's up to you to keep the dream alive..."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

Teach Love

"It concerns me when you say he doesn't come to you when called."

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

Noise machines for dogs.

'Good news: First-quarter profits should be strong and second-quarter prison sentences should be light.'

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

'I thanked my teacher for teaching me so well, and she fainted.'

"Any idea how much longer you'll be?"

"I'm sorry, he's just left the stage. May I take a message?"

Tolerant Americans?

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

'Your time is up!'

Color is not a crime

'Tip? Sure. Don't be so presumptuous.'

Ballet keeps you supple...

"Hat crimes"

'Hey, I'm no longer an ugly duckling! Now I'm an ugly duck!'

"Your former boss says you lack empathy - I'm putting you in HR."

Observe - Do not Judge - Embrace

Teaching Tolerance.

'Harry, you're so relaxed, happy, non-confrontational...have you gone bi-partisan on me?'

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

"Jack and I have learned to accept each other's idiosyncrasies, like my passion for cashew brittle, and his going out every night and not coming home until dawn."

"Did you hear the one about the Christian, the atheist and the Buddhist?"

Holding a grudge.

Different view on tolerance

"Use your inside scream."