Toilet Roll Tickler T-Shirts

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

Keyboard player

Child reading on the toilet is abducted by aliens.

'The main reason I took up the piano was, it's the only musical instrument that gives you a place to set your wine.'

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

Beware of Watchdog.

"It appears some faecal matter came into contact with some faecal anti-matter."

What Is This Crap?

"And this is George's reading room."

'Piano Player'

Toilet Roll Drop

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

"O.K., I'm going to demonstrate the proper way to lie to me about flossing."

'What do you mean, you can't look at the Milky Way because you're lactose-intolerant?'

The Last Toilet Roll On Earth

Trolley Rage.

Organ Player

"These keys seem vaguely familiar."

'The stadium restrooms are free, sir. It just costs a buck to get out.'

British Weather Bureau Symbols

'That's nothing - I once nibbled a toe that was THIS big...'

"Who's ready to hear a lot of adjacent keys played simultaneously?"

'Ok start her up!'

'My teeth are so bad I have to ask my dentist for permission to chew.'

'No need to ask if you own a dog,Madam?'

"This is a pretty good book. It could probably even be made into a three or four part miniseries."

'Another book in the can...'