Taste Tickler T-Shirts

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

Concert Pianist.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

Piano Recital

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'That's a bit better. Persistence pays off - although, not as well as it did when I was your age.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."