Toilet Roll Tickler Pillows

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

"This stool shall pass."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

Keyboard player

Child reading on the toilet is abducted by aliens.

Victor Borge.

'The main reason I took up the piano was, it's the only musical instrument that gives you a place to set your wine.'

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

"I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth to mouth."

Beware of Watchdog.

"It appears some faecal matter came into contact with some faecal anti-matter."

What Is This Crap?

"And this is George's reading room."

Toilet Roll Drop

"O.K., I'm going to demonstrate the proper way to lie to me about flossing."

'Piano Player'

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

'What do you mean, you can't look at the Milky Way because you're lactose-intolerant?'

The Last Toilet Roll On Earth

Trolley Rage.

Organ Player

"These keys seem vaguely familiar."

British Weather Bureau Symbols

Toilet roll wars

'That's nothing - I once nibbled a toe that was THIS big...'

'The stadium restrooms are free, sir. It just costs a buck to get out.'

"Who's ready to hear a lot of adjacent keys played simultaneously?"

'Ok start her up!'

'No need to ask if you own a dog,Madam?'

'My teeth are so bad I have to ask my dentist for permission to chew.'

'Another book in the can...'