Toilet Roll Collector Pillows

The Last Toilet Roll On Earth

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

The dead sea scrolls

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

Edmund Spenser

"Which free tote goes best?"

Towels embroidered with 'Me', and 'No... Me.'

"Your tests are back. You're allergic to tissues."

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

"Oh, thank God!"

Asthma cats

"The deal is $30K for a dozen rolls. First we count the cash - then you get to squish."

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

"Oh boy! Have you guys picked the wrong time for first contact!"

Toilet Roll Prank

Toilet Roll Drop

'What possible use can that have? Now excuse me, I've got to go to the bathroom.'

Vlad The Impaler's Descendants,

"A bottle in the organs' bin? How many times do I have to tell you people: sort your recyclables?"

Instant winner trash can

'Huh! There goes Sunday lunch!'

'I roll my own E-cigarettes."

'It's easy to tell when it's Nativity Play time - I can never find a tea-towel.'

"The council want you to have this extra bin madam. It's not for putting rubbish into through - it's just to take up any unused space in your front garden."

'And he's so picky about what brand of tiny toilet paper he'll use. It would be much easier if we could just train him to use the litter box like the rest of us!'

We have the brown that are highly absorbent and get the job done, or the white that are a bit softer...

Lost Property - "I'm missing a tile."

Cow-sized Tissues.

"I'm going out to buy toilet rolls. . . I may be some time."

The Common Cold.

"Ready for the lockdown."