Toilet Roll Hoarder T-Shirts

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

Toilet Roll Drop

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

The trap

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

"I thought I'd be quids-in but I can't shift the bloody stuff."

"It's the dog."

'It was a gift.'

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

"Hey, Lenny, can you spare a rubber band?"

"Cartonsit as a general rule, already work alone, usually at home."

Music Collector.

Towels embroidered with 'Me', and 'No... Me.'

"Oh, thank God!"

A man realises he is out of toilet paper.

"...so you then developed an addiction to buying toilet rolls. Wasn't that rather expensive?"

'The furniture store next, I'm going to need a larger wardrobe.'

'Give me all your free pens too!'

"Oh boy! Have you guys picked the wrong time for first contact!"

Coronavirus Shortages

'What possible use can that have? Now excuse me, I've got to go to the bathroom.'

"The deal is $30K for a dozen rolls. First we count the cash - then you get to squish."

Toilet Roll Prank

The Last Toilet Roll On Earth

"Hello. . . Police? We've been burgled! The bastards have taken all of our soap, hand sanitiser and toilet rolls!"

"I'm going out to buy toilet rolls. . . I may be some time."