Toilet Reader Pillows

"And this is George's reading room."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

Child reading on the toilet is abducted by aliens.

'Another book in the can...'

"Rate this book: 3 stars out of 5."

'What do you suggest for someone who does most of his reading in the bathroom?'

"This is a pretty good book. It could probably even be made into a three or four part miniseries."

"This stool shall pass."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

Sally Jessy Raphael

If you buy that magazine, the paparazzi win. Celebrity Couples.

'So you've won a few races: I still don't think you need worry about the paparazzi!'

"Well - I don't know what possessed her..."

A caveman offers another a copy of, 'The Ug Issue'.

"Dang, Jennifer Lopez is, like, on her 93rd boyfriend! At this rate...she'll get to me in 13.3 years!"

"Ralph said he'd give up cigars if I gave up Prince Charles and Di."

'Look, hon. You made the news again.'

"You'd have thought they'd have all slept with each other by now."

'Clown accused of being illegal gay Republican.'

The Wall Street Tattler

What Is This Crap?

"Maps to the rehab facilities of the stars"

Hot News.