Toilet Reader Pillows

"And this is George's reading room."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

Child reading on the toilet is abducted by aliens.

'Another book in the can...'

"Rate this book: 3 stars out of 5."

'What do you suggest for someone who does most of his reading in the bathroom?'

"This is a pretty good book. It could probably even be made into a three or four part miniseries."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Sally Jessy Raphael

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

A caveman offers another a copy of, 'The Ug Issue'.

'So you've won a few races: I still don't think you need worry about the paparazzi!'

"Well - I don't know what possessed her..."

"Ralph said he'd give up cigars if I gave up Prince Charles and Di."

'Clown accused of being illegal gay Republican.'

"You'd have thought they'd have all slept with each other by now."

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"Stop worrying about Madonna. She's probably just retooling for her next surge."

The Wall Street Tattler

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

Climate Change is Real

Hot News.

Circus News

'Moles? Nah - Sheila Hancock keeps popping up everywhere.'

What Is This Crap?

'Look, hon. You made the news again.'