Toilet Paper Defender Pillows

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

The trap

I break for toilet paper

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

"No not the puppy please"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"I thought I'd be quids-in but I can't shift the bloody stuff."

Do what you can to flatten the curve

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

Creation of Adam

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

'I see you approve of our switch to Ultra Soft.'

"Cartonsit as a general rule, already work alone, usually at home."

Flush Direct

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

"Watch your step, it's a sure sign bears are around."

A man realises he is out of toilet paper.

"...so you then developed an addiction to buying toilet rolls. Wasn't that rather expensive?"

Toilet paper calendar

"Oh, thank God!"