Toddlers' Playmate Gifts

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Swan Fairy Tales

Barks in code.

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Boy and his dog

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Short-lived Neanderthal Games: Slap The Sleeping Dinosaur

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

Little girl shows her dog her shiny shoes.

Dog Sees Only Food

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

Prehistoric son going "Baroooom...Barooom!" on dad's stone wheel

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."

"Broom! Broom!"

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

Master of the Universe meets the sugar plumb fairies

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

'Do these come in blue?'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."