Imaginative Playmate Gifts

"Hi. Can Billy play some football?"

'I insist on a nurse being present.'

Philton's imaginary friend was starting to spend a lot of time with other imaginary friends.

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

Mixed Doubles.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

Holding hands

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

'How's the water skiing?'

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

Advanced footsie

Boy and his dog

Short-lived Neanderthal Games: Slap The Sleeping Dinosaur

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

You are simply the Greatest

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"Broom! Broom!"

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"