Toddler Talent Gifts

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Swan Fairy Tales

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

The No No No's

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Oh he also likes Wagner's 'Flight Of The Valkyries' played whenever he enters a room."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

Babies

Spiro & Pusho and the baby choir

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'