Toddler Fashion Critic Gifts

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"That shirt is so last year."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"Nobody told me it was formal."

Three-way mirror

My Mom texted me to let me know she hates all the fonts she saw this week.

"It was a crime of fashion."

"I told you it was an informal party!"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."