Toddler Coach Gifts

How's my walking?

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"That's not how I sat on you."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

The trauma of losing.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Time Is Money

Go! Means NOW!

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Back to school.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"When did she start crawling?"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"He's such a fussy eater."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."