Toddler Care Gifts

"He's at that annoying age where they're always testing you."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"Now that Ella's turning two, I'd like to transition to being a stay-at-work mom."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

In the Guru District

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

A young Don King

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Pool attached to child's bed.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Swan Fairy Tales

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"