Toddler Gifts

'I gotta have a drink of water but not that stuff! I heard on TV it may be full of toxic chemicals!'

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

A dolls house with a working chimney.

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

"I haven't had the heart to tell him vaudeville's dead."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'He's at that age, he knows the names of all of them.'

'Ooh look, the tweenies have just turned into footballers!'

Teddy sweeping up zzz

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"Before we start on the main agenda does anybody need money to take them to the tinkle room?"

'Do these come in blue?'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Swan Fairy Tales

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

A young Don King

"He likes it."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

The No No No's

'At lone at last.'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'