Toddler T-Shirts

'I gotta have a drink of water but not that stuff! I heard on TV it may be full of toxic chemicals!'

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

A dolls house with a working chimney.

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I haven't had the heart to tell him vaudeville's dead."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'He's at that age, he knows the names of all of them.'

'Ooh look, the tweenies have just turned into footballers!'

Teddy sweeping up zzz

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"Before we start on the main agenda does anybody need money to take them to the tinkle room?"

'Do these come in blue?'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Swan Fairy Tales

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

A young Don King

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"He likes it."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

The No No No's

'At lone at last.'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."