Title Stickler Pillows

'RETIRED CEO? I expressly told them to refer to me as ‘Former Strongman.''

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

TSA Noah

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Where's my glove?'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

Baseball player wearing a face mask.

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Access Assessments

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

'The brakes are a bit dodgy, but the very loud horn compensates for that.'

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

D.I.Y ladder

How to write

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

'Wow! I'm trying to fix my glasses with contact solution instead of super glue!'

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

'Don't you think this school has way too many fire drills?'

"I'm sure it is making work more enjoyable. However, there maybe some liability issues."

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

'No hitting below the belt.'

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

''Have you got any cockroaches?"

Health and Safety vs Lawyers.