Sterility Stickler Pillows

"No, setting up a sterile field doesn't mean I'm giving you a vasectomy."

Giraffe Selfie

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Where's my glove?'

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

Department of Education - No smoaking.

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Monk painting a spelling mistake.

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

How to write

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

"In case anyone walks by and sees the bottle you ordered, we offer a sticker saying your first bottle was rated 98."

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

'I see that you have crossed you t's and opened you e's. That's always a good sign.'

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

'My son is away at college majoring in communication. When he sends me an email message, I have to run it through the spell checker before it makes sense to me.'

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

'First of all, your sign is misspelled!'

'No hitting below the belt.'