Sterility Stickler Pillows

"No, setting up a sterile field doesn't mean I'm giving you a vasectomy."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Giraffe Selfie

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Where's my glove?'

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Department of Education - No smoaking.

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Monk painting a spelling mistake.

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

"Why does he keep in the same players?"

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

How to write

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

"In case anyone walks by and sees the bottle you ordered, we offer a sticker saying your first bottle was rated 98."

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'First of all, your sign is misspelled!'

'My son is away at college majoring in communication. When he sends me an email message, I have to run it through the spell checker before it makes sense to me.'

'I see that you have crossed you t's and opened you e's. That's always a good sign.'

'No hitting below the belt.'

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."