Title Seeker Gifts

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'You know too much,'

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"I just..."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"How soon will this be a remnant

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Bring me some more power.'

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"Do kids eat free?"

Crime in bookshop

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

'You shouldn't have.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"No, no - I'm just looking for a balance of power that corrupts in moderation."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

The Boss.