Tithing Titans Gifts

"Since you tithed from the 'net' and not the 'gross', you're going to Hog Heaven instead."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

Addiction to mobile.

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

Meter Maid

Hazard of texting

Taxes

IRS, 'Internal just isn't enough any more -- we have to go EXternal.'

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"Warning! Consumption of alcohol whilst using your phone increases the size of the send button by 90%."

I love my mobile phone.

"I was comped."

Don't think of it as tithing. Think of it as a cover charge.

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

"It takes more to be a super accountant that you were a 'super accountant man' costume."

"Sharpen my teeth! I'm a linebacker!"

'We know. He's just fixing the antenna.'

"Don't get your hopes up, Buster."

Accounting Fantasy Camp

10K Text-And-Run.

'Make sure that when you type this up, you leave the 'caps lock' button on.'

Guess what I found?

I.R.S. offering 'chicken soup for the taxpayers soul'.